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Don't beat yourself up!

 Hello my beautiful friend,

   I am so sorry I have been MIA for so long. It’s been a very busy couple of months, but I am excited to get back to sharing my story. 

 You know the saying, "Comparison is the thief of joy?", its a cliché, but its true. This is something I am currently struggling with. While on treatment I compared myself to friends who had fought cancer before me who I felt did so much better than me. They were able to continue their routines without missing a beat. Meanwhile I was doing well to get out of bed in the mornings and I became very discouraged because of what I felt was a failure on my part. 

Now that I am 6 months post all of my chemotherapy and radiation treatments I feel some resentment that I am not bouncing back quickly. I get angry that I still feel fatigue, that my weight loss journey isn’t going the way I want, and that I don’t handle stress as well as I used to. There are days where I feel like a shadow of myself and that makes me very sad. What is currently helping me with these feelings is meditating on the blessings I do have. I remind myself that I am only 6 months post treatment, it takes the human body time to recover from traumatic experience. My body doesn’t look the way I want, but it fought hard to survive, and is still fighting to be healthy. Stress affects me differently now, but that’s because I endured a completely new level of stress, and my body is reaching limitations that most people never have to deal with. 

So when you have feelings like mine, take a deep breath and think about your blessings. Think about the people you are inspiring with your journey. You may not feel like you are doing anything special, but I guarantee you people are watching and being encouraged. Also, never discount the power of  prayer. My relationship with Jehovah has been a lifeline during this past year and a half. The scripture in Psalm 34:18 brings me so much comfort, it states:

 “Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” 

Jehovah wants to comfort you, so never be afraid of telling him your thoughts and feelings. Don’t forget you are never alone in your journey, you have many people cheering you on! 


Much love,

Laryssa



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